I ask myself how i have spend this 21 years of my life. I was wondering if it was well lived. I had lots of expectations of myself throughout the past 4 years. It was only recently that i have decided to let it go. It definitely felt easier. Things were easier to cope. I could just sleep really early and wake up to gym.
Now, things are a little more complicated. Sad to say, when it comes to survival, it is never easy. I have got to admit. This need for the sense of gratification is eating in me. I need to feel busy to erase the negativities. How sad? Very, i say. I used to think it is okay to feel tired and that you are busy all the time. It means you are still useful.
I dont want to live to people's expectation. I have got my parents right at the top of the list. I have to but i hate that. Honestly. Set me free, things will be easier. That is not to say that i am blaming. I dont do that. I take it on. So i am ready.
Just got back from Vietnam, from the conference. May i elaborate more on it in the later posts. But it got my energy back from the negativity i had before the trip. I came back tired but recharged. Somehow. I believe that everything happens for a reason now.
Aim for now, to design my room, be pretty and healthy. determination. got to go pack the room. More later.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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