not forgetting the delicious porridge too..... yum yumm thanks boots... for da treat enjoyed da day!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
thats us outside goodwood park hotel
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
me and my bestest bud!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
of course not forgetting the deserts.....
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
the crayfish and the oysters!!!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
10:57 PM
got up to a good hearty breakfast.. not exactly healthy but very satisfying... slouched at the couch at watch my new set of VCDs only to get ready for my routine session at Amore. Goodness....i think we totally worked out today... utilised the 1hour to the maximum till the next class and to chase us out. Anyway, it was good...
Headed to town with the intention to eat the Mee Pok, guess what it was sold out again.. had to settle for second choice. LJS.. tried the new Cajun Fish.. not bad... we walked around and i eyed many things that i wanted to buy.. of course, i still got to bear in mind my long term plan of a million dollars.. so i'd try all means to make sure that i get there... hai! somehow i've been lazy to take on more challenges...waddahell...
had my Yami Yogurt again! HEHE! Walked Paragon and again found stuff that i like. Havent been shopping for quite some time... headed home and caught some nice concert on MTV but had to head out for dinner at this Peranakan Restaurant.. Cheap but we got fined because we parked on the continuous white line..... than i started telling them not to fret so much.. wads done is done...
its only money it can be easily earned back, but i guess its no point going any further cause i got scolded back... guess they never will be able to accept my thinking...oh well.... anyway headed to Eugene's house to pass him some stuff...
back home cramming Business Finance tutorial.. received the good news that no tutorial in da morning of Monday!!... now i'm left with Business Law and i am done.. besides ICAs of course... of course there are other commitments, like getting my PDL license and the lessons.. First Aid course and many more...
how to hit 1 million by 30yearsold? helpme gimme some suggestions....
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Friday, October 28, 2005
10:46 PM
so pleased with myself for completing 3/4 of all the tutorials and assignment before da WEEKENDS!! I'm like so freaking committed to keep my weekends Super Duper Enjoyable...;)
So i did most of my stuff last night.... there were stuff that i din understand or din know how to go about doing but i guess at least i am putting effort into doing it these days rather than the slacking days a few months back... totally so detrimental ha ha.. wadever!
caught some good ole VCDs today... dun understand why all story has some sad element to it... made me feel so sad after watching but i guess thats why it's popular... after that went down to Chinatown for some catching up and slacking with BOOTS being the sponsor of the day!
we ate the famous porridge there... yum yum! i had chicken prorridge while the others had the fish porridge and the mix pork porridge... plus SHEN YU PIAN.... raw slice fish or wadever you call it;)
Shiya was high on that day...so i guess we were all high too... went for some sing along session... with new songs out and the atmosphere there... it was just great...
the main idea outta this whole event was that i am glad we all get along so well and had fun...:) i happy:)
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
11:56 PM
school ended at 1pm today...scrapped the idea of gym and headed home instead, took a short nap, completed my Family and Youth Work assignment and off i was to meet Liying at Goodwood Park Hotel...
Before you start thinking where da hell i get the $$.. we had this 1 for 1 voucher.. so we decided to chill there... damn funny i tell u, before we step in there we were so worried about dress code and stuff... upon entering and after being ushered to our seats, we thought we could jump in straight to the food, cause we were obviously hungry...
But you know what when we walked into the hall that displays the array of food, everybody was just sitting on their seats staring at each other, as if they were waiting for someone to make the first step... obviously we thought we did something wrong, being at sucha high class place.. so we went back to our seats and started some small talk...
but also of course, we couldnt take it... haha... so we jsut started with the food... and everyone just followed ..... the food was great man! Chinese cuisine.... Oysters, Crayfish, Shashimi a huge array of them, plus the deserts awesome! The buffet started at 6:30 and ended at 9:30 we utilised the time fully... We beat the tables all around us ha ha...
So we wanted to take pictures, we did it ever so discreetly, tell u it was damn funny...so when it comes to payment, it was of course hilarious too... we paid cash.. so there were some notes and loose coins.... Liying had difficulty deciding whether we should leave some tips.. in the end she silently decided against it and left a 5 cent coin instead... the waiter i though felt humilated.. ha ha..... 5 cent? and decided to return it to my friend ha ha.. waddahell..... damn funny la.... even after we walked out of da place it was equally funny....
i think its the lemon ice cream.... we were laughing non stop.. insane ah... or rather in liying';s word... i;m not crazy just a little unwell.. ha ha
oh well... it was a very nice catching up session... did i mention i say qian yi (tep) and Jing Pei(tep) hmmm..... back to school life tomorrow... how saddening and depressing ha ha...
i dunch know wad to do with da friends ... i wish we were closer ... but there is this gap that is so hard to pull together... everybody has to make the effort...
*yawnz* i'm tired and satisfied... haven been happy fer so long... will steal some pics and put it up here soon....
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
9:13 PM
2 days in a row of watching vcds has made me energy-less.
i slept at 2:36am and woke up at 6:03 am only to fall back into sleep, if it was not for Shiya's call i would have slept through the day. So naturally, i washed up and packed my stuff and left home. Was not late for any tutorials but ya know what?I barely could stay awake for the Services Tutorial.
When class finally ended at 12,we left for Le Meridien to eat the Korean food. And yes, i ate the same thing again, call it craving.... had YAMI yougurt too.. my childhood food.walked all the way down to Orchard. I finally saw my Ferrari top and its not FILA its PUMA haha. But it was way away from my budget... so that has got to wait.
Came home after a short while...i was freaking tired... the minute i sat on the seat i crashed out. When i did arrive at the comfort of my room, my head was freaking heavy and painful. There was this very suppressive pain. I just laid on my bed and i think i konked out after 2 mins. i had 5 missed calls and 2 messages. I checked the time at it as already 6 plus. I got up from bed but still felt light headed but just went about with the housework...
Took a shower and measured my blood pressure... All clear!
Guess its just the tiredness and the mysterious on and off flu...
oh by the way we got the LKY entreprenuership project. Thanks to my lucky finger ha ha... we'll see how it goes...another thing... i hate it when people dont get what you mean...i tried not to be straightforward... dont want to hurt your feelings but why do you still not get it...argh... somebody kill him,....
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Monday, October 24, 2005
11:44 PM
How far are you willing to go for that recognition?
Greediness is in its worse form when you cant recognised its existence, worse of all its mutation itself yourself. What more when it starts to hinder your healthy state of mind. But than again, there is this fine line between curiosity and wanting more of everything. So when do you start to draw a line?
I've always wanted more.. more time to spend with friends, more knowledge, more exposure, more of almost everything. At times i do try to desuade myself that too much of anything is bad, but these quest for more is quite self satisfying at times. The good thing as of now is that i know when to put a stop. Its a tricky reminder but all thanks to the sound alarm of my mental state of health i've known when to put a stop when needed.
had a long night yesterday watching VCDs.... indulging in the make believe...hmmm... how peter pan can it be... school's depressing at times... there is something about TEP that is missing in school life...
When there was TEP i know what i missed about classical life that i wanted so badly at the start to return to it... but now that i am classical i dont know what i miss about TEP... there is that missing piece lying around...
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
10:55 PM
memories.. good or bad...guess its all up to you...
so glad i am 3/4 done with all my projects and tutorials, i just dont want to get all bogged down in the middle of the week because i know life has a lot of surprises for me midway...
Flight plan was good. Watch it on Saturday. Would say it was totally well planned and it keeps you thinking. Go grab the show if you have not. after that was korean dinner at the food court at meridien. It was cheap and really value for money. Guess shiya would want to go there.
There are some things in life that will stay forever no matter how hard you try to push it away...it might lead to misadventures or hallucinations, whatever it is nothing can beat a strong person. I refuse to be the salve of fear.
anyways, i'm enjoying Amore alot these days...:)
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Friday, October 21, 2005
11:59 AM
My throat now hurts badly.... and the cough is still there... my body aches from the bowling.. my head is heavy.. i'm sick and i hate being sick.. i sense a cold coming too...
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
10:40 AM
Graduated High School. Kissed someone. Smoked cigarettes. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Spun turn tables. Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time with out sleep. Lied to someone. Been dumped. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Taken a college level course. Been in a car accident. Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid). Watchedsomeone die. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Lost your virginity. Your parents got divorced. Cried yourself to sleep. Spent over $200 in one day. Flown on a plane. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Cut yourself. Had a best friend. Lost someone you loved. Shoplifted something. Been to jail. Had detention. Skipped school. Got in trouble for something you didn't do. Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country. Dropped out of school. Been in a mental hospital. Watched the "Harry Potter" movies. Had an online diary. Fired a gun. Gambled in a casino. Had a yard sale. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Taken a lie detector test. Swam with dolphins. Attempted suicide. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe. Loved someone you couldn't have. Wondered about your sexuality. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Had more than 5 IM's/online conversations going at once. Overdosed. Had a drug or alcohol problem. Been in a fist fight. Suffered any form of abuse. Had a hamster. Patted a wild animal. Used a credit card. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Had something pierced. Got straight A's. Been on the Honor Roll. Your parents sent you to a shrink. Been handcuffed. Known someone with HIV or AIDS. Taken pictures with a webcam. Started a fire. Had a party while your parents weren't home. Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.
Stole this if Huishan's blog. Found it at a right time for some self analysis haha... apparently i have a good mix of do-s and donts ... what to do? The younger days were filled with curiousity and the need to fufill that promise to myself that never seem to end...
haha.. anyways... i passed my final driving theory, thanks to all my well wishers, than of course now is the pressure of taking the practical.. we'll see how it goes den. So classes has officially presumed and i guess the work load is pilling up as we can see... the main point is how long i can last through till FEB that when our IPP starts... hmmm...
So glad that our usual lifestyle is back... we pooled and bowled yesterday, and improved!;)
my throat is freaking itchy now, guess i am down with some virus attack, what a great way to start classess...... ok more later..
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
12:28 AM
when i was young i learnt the lesson that life is fair. Whenever i was happy i knew i would be unhappy later or vice versa... this has carried on till now, life has always been fair to me. Needless to say this came at a price, whenever i was laughing my ass off, i'd be readily anticipating when i would crumble and fall. Life never fails me...my guesses were 80% right.
Sometimes you have no idea if you should congratulate yourself for this or should you feel upset. I guess i have already found the answer.
Sometimes you'd just wish you are able to get it off your chest,entrust all the heavy stuff on a realiable table. Than perhaps pray that you would never ever have to carry it to the next destination or better still, if only you could just walk past it and ignore its presence.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
10:13 PM
last minute stuff dont usually work for everybody.. but to my amazement it has miraculously worked for many of the people around me. I've no idea if thats good or bad but it sure does not always work for me, i guess thats only fair right?
So i have been given many opportunities in different areas but ya know what? Looking briefly at all of these it feels as though these opportunities are just traps enticing me to fall into their trap. True enough, i feel insecure when dealing with these challenges. Yes, i want to be different, i like these but something inside of me is telling me to hold back and be safe, stick to what i am now...
I guess these are times of human weakness, like how it would be easier to just cancel tomorrow final driving test due to my lack of studying and laziness to travel to that area in the morning. like i know, what the hell is wrong with me.... given this opportunity and all i know is to skive away from it...
but of course, i'd stick to it. deep inside i know that there is that greater sense of achievement knowing that you have tried and its okay if it doesnt work out...
Same goes for the issue that has been happening in my house these days, why cant we just leave my uncle and couz alone. Do we really have to drive them away? yes, we are sincere in our actions with the utmost thought to help, but shouldnt it be because of these reasons that we should not suffocate or suppress the only source of survival for them..
With our love shouldnt we set them free from our grasp of overconcerns? i'd say its time to let go and you'll find greater returns that way... ok,i'm off to studying for my final theory test... wish me luck but sadistically i'm prepared to fail haha
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Monday, October 17, 2005
10:30 PM
here's the story....
aunt laila went for operation to remove her gall bladder stones.. everything was successful till she complained of a series of aches that never went away... my mother went high and low looking for specialist but somehow it was diagnosed that my aunt has depression and my aunts all thought she's just whiny and its no big deal...
this dragged on for quite some time till finally she left for Philippines without uttering a word, from what i know even mentioning to her kids not to let us know. but unfortunately, word spreads, and for weeks all we know is nothing much... just that we cant figure how she can leave her kids here and be there for such a long time.. we're not even sure when she will be back....
i really dont know whats going on, i usually would check it out and make sure things are alright, but i dont have the energy to do it anymore.. i presume this issue requires lotsa time and effort and i would love to put that in...but i need support... i dont even know what you guys want me to do.... anyway, things will settle for itself.. somehow..
School was aiight today, everything will be ok, i've come to learn, its just the matter of whether you are use to it. However, bad or good something is, it will past....
I've got advanced theory this wed and i have not even pass the halfway mark of my readings.... Happy Birthday COuz Andy!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
10:14 PM
Tracing back, on our farewell dinner....
Yeapz.. out with TTC peeps for a farewell dinner to mark the end of TEP attachement as well, honestly speaking what a memorable ending.. i guess the best was really saved for the last.. True enough, life is tough over there, but because of that i have made many firsts which are definitely memorable...
Natas fair like what i have told everybody was the best event ever, the endless counts of customers, the real life huge event that we are part of.. seriously, the adredaline is neverending and though hours were long i seriously loved it to bits...
than there was the day to day routine of working in the 'fish tank', keeping up with customers enquiries that seem to never end... but working with the group of people who are along with me on this journey was fun though it was not easy...
the farewell dinner was fun and filled with laughter, but of course with an additional guest of SHIYA.... ms Ong and ms Ang were nice enough to accommodate her...
Saturday was back to work, my official last day.... i ran off at 1pm sharp for classes at Amore, another time well spent... might consider taking the limitless package so i can use the gym there often since classical allows more time... so today i basically just lie on my bed, eat and watch VCDs.. my head feels light.. which is a good thing.. could literally feel the pressure off my head... no expectations for tomorrow... somehow somethings telling me its going to be different...
Shiya got her new phone, finally happy for her.... got this sudden urge to head to the gym... oh yea, my aunt decided to stay in Philippines for 1 year... waddahell is going on man...
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
10:34 PM
Heylo!
I've got lots to say, but i am just too tired. anyway, what i am going to say is just life in general these days, whats happening the past 2 days and yea thats about it... will update later...
these days i seriously just want to laze on my bed, catch a good ole program and just slack. Call me if you want to chat or get things off your chest...I'd love a good chat now... TEP has officially ended for me and there is this weird feeling inside of me, but i guess its normal for anyone to feel this way.
Love all of you and take good care...seems that i have time to organise gatherings again.. So Guides get ready for some slacking sessions over coffee or something.. as well as all the other stopovers from TEP... lets just appreciate the time that we have shared together... Life is so precious to me... With so many things going on.. I hope my aunt is okay. Something's telling me nobody is going to react till something bad happens...
till later...
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
12:04 AM
So glad, the TEST is over. Handover has started, it would be the end of a neverending era. FINALLY. But seriously, not that i am looking foward to classsical hur hur. But at least its a new beginning and more rest and more time to do my stuff. Except for the usual inconsistent headaches and lost of focus. Attachement was a breeze today, i think.
Went to visit Shamimi and her house. Thank god that girl is discharged. So happy to see her so much better. Goes to show that anything is possible with positivity... had a good ole chat with her and Chalven... wish there was no school tomorrow, could have stayed longer.
Tomorrow's another day. Cant wait for it to pass quickly. Nah... should cherish every minute of every day..... yea.. i should hehe.. okok.. this is a redundant entry.. just writing to check my ability , sprouting nonsense again...;)
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
10:29 PM
i'm losing focus. I cant remember certain things haha. I cant stay put to focus and put myself to think through certain things. I'm tired. *yawnz*
Had a haircut. Dinner at Sakae with Shiya and Shuying. Gossip about TTC. haha. For a moment it was fun and laughter. I miss my old class. I just want to lie on my bed and sleep through the hold day without having to worry about anything.
Without worrying about being to school on time. Without worrying about making a wrong booking. Without worrying about forgetting to do anything in TTC. Without worrying about what is going to be tested tomorrow. Without worrying that all these would be taken into consideration tomorrow.
But dont worry, i'm ok, and attachement is ending soon so its much better.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Friday, October 07, 2005
11:30 PM
i got cheated by 2 cab drivers today. today is not my day.
today at ttc was hectic and crazy. had 2 tickets that deadline was today, both adds up to thousands and thousands of dollars. I'm also working on the Taiwan immersion programme... I think i am officially going nuts....
I am so tired these days that i am taking cabs like almost every other day and i am freaking broke. I swear i have like only 30 bucks left for the whole month.
I'd be working tomorrow and sunday though at Suntec for Ananda Travel. Got the job from Ms Elinda Gan. 10:30-9pm. Long hours. Sunday i might be sending my friend off to Perth. I'm going to miss her. Hai~ everything seems to be happenning too past.
Missed my installation in school today. Everything seems to be just happening, like i dunno whats going on... it seems to flow... cant remember certain things though...should be alright.. must be cause i am tired...
on another note, i never understand how it works with my supervisors... but its ok.... dont ask for too much... one thing at a time... my head hurts.. and i am sleepy... *yawnz*
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
11:21 PM
Reading Couz Michelle's blog makes me realise that i havent been doing much updating, oh well here goes...
The past few days have been visiting my good old friend Shamimi and TTSH. I practically push away all social commitments just to be there for her. She needs it and i love being there, although i'm no doctor nor nurse but at least the presence help. I would try as much as possible to be there for you girl.
I went to school today, was rather listless. Luckily, i have not gotten my license, i bet i'd be sleeping behind wheels. I was practically dragging my feet but it could be due to gym yesterday... 40 mins on the treadmill, first time.... 10 mins on the step-o, 15 mins or more on the weights machine..
Upon entering TTC, i sense something negative. true enough, it smells negativity... that places definitely isnt a supportive place... like i said, they are forever asking too much from us and giving too little in return except for the you-know-you-will-learn-and-benefit-from-it part.
So what if i took leave the day before, our manager approved it so why do you have to raise your voice at my colleague who was just conveying a message, and even if so could you jolly well ask what is the cause of it... dont sterotype me because it hurts especially when my intentions are twisted..i'm not angry...just sad and disappointed
i came in and heard from my colleague that you said, "if you want to fail, fail la..." like waddahell.... you dont understand the situation i'm in and you come up with such a statement.....after so much trust in you, this is what i get. thanks alot man.
you made me feel so helpless of top of all the negativity already present.....
anyway, its over,i'm ok. So glad Adib came to visit Shamimi....havent been spending time at home for a long time... we'll see how things go, i'm tired... good nite, till the next time i update..
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
9:47 AM
arhh....i am so sick of people not understanding.... to narrow down your worries, its none other than TTC problems again haha. oh well, everyday when we enter that place, it breeds PROFESSIONALISM we are being reminded of that everyday. harsh reality that sucks, that leaves no amount of mankind.
hmmm...i'm sad. not really sad just affected. haha. ok forget it. Amore was so refreshing. The gym was great. I miss good old Shamimi. I miss our class. arh...forget this man, this entry is nonsence. 3/4 through finishing my report. 0/4 through my test.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
8:15 AM
if i do write down what happened today, i believe it would linger around my mind longer thani want it to. So i refuse to write down any of it, but that does not mean that it will go away. I'm so afraid. But what can i do, everytime i tell myself to be strong, it turns out that i just cant walk away from it. You're not perfect, i know, but the least you could do is behave like an adult.
Shamimi
I know everything is going to be okay. You're always on my mind. My prayers are for you.
Love you girl
Clarice.
My week pretty much sucks. First the unfortunate incident, than the Bali bombings and now the issue that happened at home that has reduced me to someone so vulnerable. Sorry Shiya to have to call you, but thanks
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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