Things happen for a reason and whatever it is i guess whatever that is happening right now is dropping hints here and there as to what i want to do.
Heard that we wont be having holidays all the way till mid of Year 3. Who in the hell sets sucha timetable? IPP. Hmmm... i hope i get to go for the OIPP, overseas attachement but whatever it is, even if i dont get to go, i sure do hope that the choosing of companies is one of the privilege that we would get.
So i am planning a trip for my CCA to India next year, a trip to Philippines for November. TTC has made me and Chee Wei part of the project team to design an immersion programme for Vietnam. I do want to take on the Thailand one though. Oh well, so many trips at the end of the year, i guess i better start saving and start being a good girl so i would attain approval.
I'm claiming time of for 3 days next week but there are still lotsa things to rush. Firstly, would be 2 reports to be completed by the 10 october. A general knowledge and abacus test on the 12 October. What more handover to be done from 12-14 October. Flea market on the 16 Oct. I better start working it out now before i start freaking out.
Poor Shamimi, i hope everything is okay girl, we'll spring ya a visit tomorrow and we will relieve your pain. take good care meanwhile and you'll always have this buncha friends around ya!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
9:35 PM
If i said that life is filled with obligations, would you agree with me? Hmm... anyway, whatever the answer is i believe we can never ever really run away from obligations. Sometimes there are too many of it and in one way or another we arent really accomplishing what we really want but rather fufilling each obligations that comes in the way that it has become a routine.
Saturday was cool. Well, except for the fact that i had to return to school for work. Things happened during that session, and sad to say it was kind of an ugly situation, one that i hope would never happen again, though sinful me always like to see these kinda human drama happen, but i know how painful and awkward it can be at times. And of course no one deserve such treatments.
I always thought as a student we should always be protected no matter what, however it seems that it is no longer true, or perhaps it is never true. I would honestly say here if i have to that, though we are being told to pick up learning values in a learning environment such as the school, what we are normally thought of is the harsh reality of the outside world.
If we really should learn from our mistakes, must it always be after a scolding or a lecture session? Must it always be the harder we fall the better we will learn? Why must we always learn while we are living in fear? Why do we have to live with circumstances? And why cant we be strong enough to change all these?
I believe that in my own opinion as much as reality proves otherwise, that learning should be through constant mistakes and endless compromising and forgiveness. But what we have been learning in school or since the day i was told i was learning was that we werent allowed to make mistakes and if we do it would only be once and if we were to commit it for multiple occassion we would be deemed stupid, if i may say.
I can except how things are now, or maybe not, if not i would not be stating a claim here, but whatever it is there has got to be a way to change the way things are. If we must and have to learn, it can never be through fear but through love and patience.
Enough of that, i enjoyed the insurance and investment talk at Suntec City Convention. Thought me alot about the importance of communication and much we or rather i have to learn as i grow. The dinner at Sizzler was awesome. AND, sad to say my appetite has reduce quite a bit. but its okay, not that i am competing for some huge eater competition. I still can live with that.
Tomorrow would be back to the routine lifestyle of school life and life at The Travel Connect would remain ever challenging as it can be. God knows why... there is always this dreading feeling when i am in it but i know the minute that i stay out of it i would miss the endless worrying and the constant keeping-on-your-toes feeling. Whatever it is i have no reason to keep my worries at the moment. Let me just enjoy some melodrama VCDs and Shows... the only thing that keeps hope alive now .... tata till later. Bless all of you out there.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Friday, September 23, 2005
1:09 AM
dont really understand these sudden emotions running through myself... emotions running wild... attention! hello! Back to reality!!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
11:35 PM
Oh my God!! I got the tickets to the premier of Shen Hua. The Jacky Chan movie. Boy, it was awesome!! Really, the movie is great, though the storyline might be a tad weak but its there for the taking.
Nothing much to add on... just that i have finally started amore, decided to cancel guitar and learn from cheryl straightaway. Save cost. TTC is still TTC. Joint Sharing Session tomorrow. I am broke, trying to figure my way around. But everything is safe and sound so far. Let's just take one thing at a time.
More pics below.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Friday, September 16, 2005
11:59 PM
I had lotsa great feast these days. All thanks to the many gatherings held. And should i also announce that i am freaking broke. So i am currently advertising for anyone who would kindly sponsor the next half of this month ha ha.
oh well. I had lotsa fun preparing Ms Lee's farewell party, the gift and everything else. It was fun. I also had fun meeting Yap and having our Yuki n Yaki Steamboat cum Teppan Cum Sushi buffet. Than it was today's Manhattan's Fish Market dinner gathering for BPOS outsource.
This month has been one helluva enriching, tiring ride. Too much a rollercoaster. Did i mention an early morning trip to the airport to help check in a tour group. Finally 2 days break to rest and take a breather, fixed up my life a little, sort out the other things that i have neglected, like my driving final theory, my first aid course, my guitar, my amore, tuition and my cca. Lotsa catching up to do.
TTC really takes up too much of my time, strength and mental wellness. ha ha.
Till later. More pics.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Monday, September 12, 2005
6:51 AM
The past 3 days at Natas were awesome. I found my freedom, i found back my adredaline pumping days, i found back the fun and the long hours of crazinesss. Yes it was crazy but i miss those days. I learnt about people and more importantly i have learnt more about myself too.
Will get the pictures up once its ready. Still owe you guys lotsa pictures.
Took a day off from school today, back and neck ache old injury. But neways, i am grateful for the day away from school although i do miss my friends.
Sad thing is that no matter how much you escape you cant escape far away from the path of yours. Its back to the routine lifestyle tomorrow. How long more do i have to endure it, i sure do hope it passes fast enough.
There are certain things i know i should listen and should heed especially when i am still young, but you know what? I guess when you're young there is always this rebellious character in you, this urge to be different, to be adventurous, and though a part of me tells me to be wise and calm, my heart tells me to not forsake being young.
You're only young once, you have lotsa time to grow. Of course , you got to think long term but do draw the line and you're never too old. There are always things to look forward to and different ages.
Craig David new CD is awesome!
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
11:23 PM
I've had my fair share of unfair-ness of life today. I've also had my fair share of regrets today. Whoever said they never regretted are full of bulls.
You see when i start writing all of these down, i start getting defensive, which is like waddahell. It affected me but i dont know life carries on, maybe i thats how work life is. At least it brought out the side of me i had miss so much, i now know i never want to shout at people without giving a second thought.
I remembered how shouting was all so fearful to me. But i guess you'd never know huh. But its not that i care anyway, i really dont feel like writing anything about you because than it would seem as if i am defending myself, which it the first place there is no defending to do.
I so sick of walking into her footsteps. I know you people subconciously take me for her just because we are some what similiar in character but we are two different people. So when you try to put us together, at times its nice to play along, at times i myself gets too engrossed in it that i forget who i am.
I'm not her, i dont like it when you guys do that. I might be too sensitive but i dont know, the initial joy of trying something new has been ruined by all these that has occurred.
Mr Murphy has visited me. I needa go to church again. I need to regain the peace. NO i need to sort things out within myself.
BUMMER, i missed a major conference, thanks to NATAS travel fair briefing. Opportunity cost. Hope i meet and work with some great people tomorrow. Thats my consolation.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
10:40 PM
I remembered Sunday was a day i could do the things i havent been doing all the while.
Like for instance, the Charity Walk which was surprising a short one, it was just from Raffles to Marina Promenade and we could easily accomplish it in 30 mins. No mean feat! haha. My aunt said that the organisation was short of money, but surprisingly the goody bag that i received was jammed packed with wonderful expensive goodies. Good Try. Nice Tee Shirts they have too. I miss joining all these events.
After which crashed my aunt's house than headed for church. Interesting. Was at peace with some issue in my head. Than it was yum yum CHAR KEOW TEOW. The super delicious one at Beach Road. Went to SA to accompany my aunt to book some packages to Shanghai. Than it was MOVIE!!!! Trust me it has been close to 3 months since i last caught one. I know! No life!
Back home with dinner out at my fav Bak Kut Teh Hangout. You know what i really miss home cooked food.
I'm feeling better these few days. Some internal struggles, but i would never be able to understand why i can get so freaking tired these days. I dozed off the minute i lie on the bed. i am 7 days away from my advance theory and i havent read anything. I just rented the Investment book. I have not prepared for the flea market guess i got to postpone again. Goodness. Thank god this month's financial status has been surprisingly good.
natas is coming. On duty. Asia Pacific Conference Tmr. I'm so confused again. Bleah.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
7:27 PM
Much has been happening these weeks but i havent got the time to actually write down something proper. It could be due to partial laziness and also because there are too much things to handle these days. But at least i am able to settle my mind now and do some updating here...
the past few days have been busy with lotsa of picking up of calls, getting myself familiar with countries and pricing and how each and every individual system works, also giving myself time to understand each and every individul characteristics...
i have certain expectations for myself and often i forgot that it is okay to make mistakes, which is why i hate it when on top of my expectations i have to meet other people's expectations on myself... i guess i have put myself on a difficult situation time and time again.
Sometimes i do question myself over decisions that i have made, but whatever it is, i guess things do happen for a reason... so whatever it is, i guess i just got to perservere on.
I miss the outdoor days, the days of endless fun and excitement, the days when i live on today and every single second. The Clarice of today sorta change a little more or less, i do plan long term now, as many has been telling me. Am i happy now? That i wouldnt know, only in the near future i guess. I must convince myself to think long term.
i guess i am a very short term person, even my memory!
I wanner say a big thank you to Michelle for the sumptous treat on friday that cost $83 bucks. We had a feast! Crabs, Fish and what have you... goodness. I miss the good old days. When the uploading are done i will post some pics here yea?
*Note to Clarice: It may seem like a long way to go but take each day as a new day, each hardship as a block to build your huge dream for the future. You write the story of your fairytale. Its yours!
Charity walk tomorrow. Somehow i hope i come home with aching feets. Self mutilation. Crazy i know. hur hur
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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