i went sanpo shimasu at 7pm.
Did not feel like sitting in front of the terebi.
it was not atsui at all.
As i walked i pondered real hard, how i wished my friends were all staying round the neighbourhood. So that we could just buzz each other and head down to la kopi.
i like the hawker stalls opposite my house. I somehow like to see the uncles gather, the aunties bitching, the kids scrambling which reminds me of my primary school days.
No wild ideas of striking rich, no wild ideas of making it big.
When i was younger all that i wanted was to be as true and sincere to my classmates, so that we can call each other and chit chat through the night.
All we thought of was to avoid getting our textbook thrown out by our teacher, to not be caught not bringing our books to class.
For me, i feared PE lessons, i was super lousy at physical activities.
needless to say i was ten kg heavier than i am now.
I remember the small stone table behind the school.
I remembered mixing around with the EM3 students although i was supposedly an EM1 student.
I remembered hanging around the basketball court with them and popping by their houses to chit chat and play and lying to parents that we were at school to study.
I remembered fearing being late of school.
When i got to secondary school, i missed primary school so much, i went back every alternate days. I complained to Ms Lim. I wonder how she is doing now.
I realised that people in my class were all so outspoken. So talented. So good at sports.
I soon wanted to be like them. and soon was like them. :)
I had my happy memories then. With my CCA. its like a life dedicated to it.
Of course, then i imagined myself to JC. I never dared dreamed of the best. But somehow, i gave up the dream of going JC ever so readily.
I chose Poly.
I felt like a grown up girl in there.
It felt good after awhile to learn things that could apply so readily to real life.
I got ambitious. I started all the ideas and networking there.
I made many friends from there.
there were times i dreaded going back, but it was just cause of the distance.
and cause i started working more, i got in touch of the working world alot.
i compared to studying.
when i graduated, i wanted to go Uni so much.
there was alot of unforeseen pressure.
I gave up 3 jobs i managed to clinch to enter NUS.
I remembered being interviewed by the dean and the vice dean.
How it was so easy chit chatting with them, they were amazed at my clear visions and aim to be a social worker.
When they told me i was in, i quivered in my voice.
I was so happy.
its not hard to relive the happiness, really.
its not easy to enter university.
but today i regret a little. regret forsaking the job at Mcgraw hill.
that opportunity at such a good pay and job scope.
but than again, i learnt to accept it.
today, i dont know how my life will turn out, at the moment i am feeling a little emotional. it is the time of the month again. but things will be better, it always does. 20 years of life. I always wish to relive the parts over again and again..
and there is nothing wrong with that, as i continue to walk back to the paths and areas i used to play and linger......
im back in writing. yes,as if i had not written enough.
its like way past 2am.
and yes life has been like that for me all way past 2am sleeps and a day of no sleep even, which brings me back to days in poly where we chiong for presentations.
those days were fun though. because we were in it together.
now its like every man's for himself.
how sad.
yea, once in awhile care, concern and a little hug from the special ones out there does help.
im grateful i have a bunch of ppl to grumble and complain to.
chases the heat off things.
need i mentioned gym's been under renovation, just when i was about to get on track for marathon runs. its okay. could do with the break.
food no longer as appealing as before.
still enjoy the ones i cook though.
hmm pork chop
