my eyes are swollen. and there can only be one reason. i was thinking real hard through the night yesterday. suddenly felt empty. realise that all the mindless occupancy with life seems redundant after all. the only consolation is that i have done what i have wanted to. heartless? i dont feel a thing really. but why do the tears still fall when being confronted. what was it that matters so hard that made it fall? i did not understand these causes and effects. i am putting a wall so hard and strong and uber defensive. its going to take someone strong to break it down. my eyes are really painful.
imma selfish biatch. and i cant bring myself to hate myself or feel it just yet. i need a cooler to my eyes.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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Song Clarice
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April baby (28th)
