Do you remember me I sat upon your knee I wrote to you With childhood fantasies Well, I'm all grown up now And still need help somehow I'm not a child But my heart still can dream So here's my lifelong wish My grown up christmas list As children we believed The grandest sight to see Was something lovelyWrapped beneath our tree Well heaven only knows That packages and bows Can never heal A hurting human soul No more lives torn apart That wars would never start And time would heal all hearts And everyone would have a friend And right would always win And love would never end This is my grown up christmas list What is this illusion called the innocence of youth Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth(there'd be)
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I was watching a fairytale, i complained how i dont feel the impact of the lovely ending and how i might just have lost the innocence in me. But i came home, with a packet of gift,my "labour of love",the one held so proud and dearly.
yet, you thought its one of my nonsensical fantasy.
I moment of false fallacy.
And, with a word you crashed it .
My belief.
My hope.
My dream.
I felt angry, than i felt sad, than i felt disappointed. I felt all i felt.
just like a glass of red wine. pungent .
it went right through me.
you were supposed to play the supporting role.
the perfect model.
supporting me.
giving me hope.
but i dare say throughout my 20 years.
i depended on myself more than on you.
i never felt pity for myself.
beacause i know you dont owe me anything.
but at least, dont always GIVE me HOPE so HIGH, and pull me back down.
but a sliver lining behind each trial.
i am gladthe innocence within me gave me the courage to hope and dream.
thus the pain.
den i smiled again.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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Song Clarice
past the 20th mark
April baby (28th)
