you know ive thought ive never been that selfish. but than i think again. all these plans with concern of my life or the life that i want to live, isnt it all about me? ami making decisions that revolves around me? i want to do this this and that and all of these that i want is just because i want to have a better me not becaue it contributes to the benefits of my loved ones around me.
So now i start to think again, if all the glamour and puss of being around friends, living the high life and getting all loud and recognised is doing me or the people i really love and care about any good.
Are these that i am looking for just equipments to fill this temporary void within me, are these actually in actual fact hindering blocks to my real attainment of life?
im feeling all so guilty at 20 that ive not done much for my parents.:(( ive attained quite a splendid portfolio for myself but it only pleases those that are able to 'use' me or needs the benefits of it to 'be friends' with me.
but, really, honestly, what about those that really have stood by me and stays by me unselfishly all these while. This are the people that have looked beyond the things that i have accumulated along the years and despite the misses of life has always been the plaster of all of it.
If i can say one thing, i 'd say i am really grateful for the people around me who has loved me unconditionally. I shall slow down this life and cherish what i have from now on. For i have learnt, it is not the acclaimation or the high pedestal that one attains that is able to gain that happiness.
For like what ive always said and searched for, it is and will always be well within and not anywhere else.
i love you. all of you. i hope you all know that, you dont have to think any further. sincerely to all i know.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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Song Clarice
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April baby (28th)
