forever.

Thursday, May 31, 2007
12:42 PM

SORRY WEISING!!!

really sorry, i couldnt go to the retail chalet.

i know how i said i dislike people to suddenly put aeroplane and i just did it.....
im feeling guilty. putting this up here not to make me feel better but to really say im sorry.

on hindsight. really understand the vulnerability of working ties.
really cherish friends.
really enjoy working with sulaiha.
love rachel too.
thinking of that lifeguard. but think nothing la. hahah. nonsense.

love the bicycle ride.. leg damn fagging tired though hahaha...
diff clubbing experience
missing jes and shuyu
Chalven!!!! call me la... catch up hahaha.. our conversation not ended yet...

more later.. tired.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007
8:02 AM

the late night shopping at bugis..... with sumptious mala steamboat and delicious desert.
Need i mention my purrrfeecctooo appetitie

me and shiya

cheryl and shiya

check out the sumptious mess we made. hahahha

this was the highlight man....

ya thats the place....

thanks shuyu for asking. im okay la. really. Clarice always has lots of confusion but she settles it out in the end.

I love reggae classes!!! i do!!!!! Shiya cant wait for u to join la...

i got blue black from it. saw more familiar faces.;)

Ann, i know u wont see this but from the bottom of my heart i hope everything works out good. love you deep deep.

more later. tired.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Monday, May 28, 2007
7:51 AM

another long overdue pic..... the threesome..

heheh our SMUGGLED FOOD

me me and me.. hahahhaa...

now, lots of things have been happening.

im feeling a little exhausted. Emotionally and mentally after feeling physically tired last week. I felt as if ive betrayed myself. I dont know, seems like some split personality issues. Im pissed with myself for being pissed with others.

Ive just realised a little more of myself.

Ive been supressing my emotions. My anger, my fear and my sadness.

sigh* ive been let down by some friends who thinks that its okay to do certain things and id forgive them. After thinking so, id just blame myself because its not exactly their fault cause i did not put my stand to it, i let it passed.

than there are issues at work too. i dont know, sometimes u feel that they just dun understand. why is it that PEOPLE are ALWAYS JUDGING.

to sum it all up. I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL. and vice versa.
how do i learn not to be one? argh.

of course i have happy moments too.
meetings with the guys at Vil'age. thanks all for the present.
the hair cut with Raymin at Toni and Guy. love him to bits. no more curly hair.. thankgod
i love pret-a-manager.
i love e work with izzah.
the movie and volley finals with aunt.
the movie with Jes. laughter therapy.
the bellyblitz class.
agnes as my bud for the marathon run:)

i wish i could just laze around at home sometimes.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Friday, May 25, 2007
10:09 AM

argh!
sms me and i'll start complaining about her.
its work.

i love the steamboat and the desert and the shopping today.
but i miss the clubbing.
the dancing.
tmr tmr..... another day.
beachvolley competition. pirates. and FOOD>

tell me u guys love me heheheheh

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Thursday, May 24, 2007
7:30 AM

more beautiful piccas to enjoy..

simyee, steph (bday girl) me and ma fav senior lixin.. aka the fierce one too....

glory glory food....

and our self made fondue

stephie with her cake and mouth and candle and wadever... hahahha

the one big happy family......

ok i am seriously tired. cleaned and pack everywhere and anywhere. including the fans at hub 1.

you know i have so many happy things in my life to share, like how i enjoy the supportive and forever onz friends i have around me. The wonderful singing session i had with weising and daisy. The very onz shuyu who join the National Runway Cycling with me. despite it being all the way in the east and that it starts at 8am in the morning. Plus! the dinner at sakura.

The wonderful dinner that i have with anne today at terra;s cafe. The wonderful event happening outside hub1 that allowed me to make new friends, should really take piccas on saturday when im back to really enjoy it. The fun working day i had with raihana today. The beautiful workout session at the gym with trainers so supportive and friendly.

you know im really grateful.
but there are so many things left undone.
the prezzies
the registration of uni...
the dance classes (external)
orientation
and many other considerations.
clubbing hhaha
the hair thingy

so tired at times, but many a times i dont mind, really i dont.
on tuesday i was super tired. went home after safra yishun had bad throat and flu. i downed 2 vitc pills.and lotsa water. i was so afraid i wld be sick. the next day i got up betta but tired so skipped running and had a simple diet whole day ( i still eat continuously though). den today equally tired after everything came home.

just want to feel safe without having to explain my every single actions.
just want to be able to rest and ask for stuff without questioning.
im tired, so would u all please leave me alone.

meeting early tomorrow. got to pack so many things, be out the whole day til weeeee... hours.....

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
8:29 AM

so tired.

i just realise when im tired. id just turn quiet and my eyes will droop and i will walk aimplessly.. walk... but my mind will be filled with tons and millions of information processing inside...

maybe disappointed is too strong a word. but if u know you cant promise something dont do it. i couldnt care less if it is done by friends who arent close to me but for someone like you to do it aagain and again.... im just speechless....

been eating lotsa stuff lately. haha. greedy as usual.

should really learn self restraint.

ive so many things to say. but im kinda in a parallel dimension now... so u shall just enjoy the piccas....

join me for the National Runway Cycling event. i'd be there. 8am sharp 15klits. no long. leisure route.

our beautiful girls talk @ CHIJMES hog's breath cafe... wonderful food and staff.....

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Sunday, May 20, 2007
7:31 AM

no time to blog
just wanner count my blessing for today again.
made some social networking.. more free goodies....
Grace ish going arts and soci too.. cool....
had dinner with the family.

:) grinning. i love all of my friends. and i am thinking of clubbing again... hahaha

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Saturday, May 19, 2007
8:59 AM

im so happy.
really.
clubbing yesterday was not bad. ly friends ps her. so im her savior hhahaha.. from DXO to Zouk,
another stupid teeko guy.
how many times must i say a girl just wanner dance.. dun have to hold so tight hahaha..

neways.
today hiphop class was cool too. super high. finally saw shiya after so long and her sister.
den went to accompany jeslyna to do her hair. im so confused what should i be doing? hmmm...

den was steph bday.
FOOD was AWESOME!! u know how freaking hungry i was. just a slice of bread with cheese in the morning and half a waffle. sunflower seed bread for lunch. i was like STARVING. but the herbal tea Jeslyna bought was good. had papaya before rushing to Steph house.

drools. and LIXIN was there. so happy.
crapped and be girls and had good chats later in the room. hehehehe.
so happy really.

THE NUMEROLOGY IS TRUE. talk about it more tomorrow.
so with the dinner @ CHIJMES
the dancing @ ZOUK
and the celebration @ steph house.

tmr ya? patience

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Thursday, May 17, 2007
7:23 AM

weee........ the outing for KEAT....

me and daisy...

erm.. thats where we ate hahaha.

its blur hor? reflections.....

the other two sweet dahlings....

knock knock!

i love the o school reggae class.

my body ached after that but it was fantastic. will go again and again and again.. anyone who wants to join plspls drop me a message ok... super uber fun.....

work as usual.. but met many interesting people.... people who say hi to me when i dunno them... and when im not in my uniform.. erm.... ahhaha.

ok... tmr club again..weeee....

hope its fun.. going with ppl i dunno.. hahah...

hope i dun sound like a party addict.

i jus wanner dance. haha... workout time!!!

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Monday, May 14, 2007
8:52 AM

ive got like 50 bucks from my dad.
thanks, but i hope this extra cash is not in exchange for some things i dont want to do.

that aside, i had a very busy week of last.
met up with my cousin and aunt. had a flea market.
worked extra hard because i was so afraid of being bored.
so much so that ive got the visual merchandises all changed and im glad our op manager Della was pleased. *clap*clap.

had my usual morning jogs,except when it rains.
did some self invented strength training on those other days.
and today,i'm busy non stop since waking up at 7.

met up with weising, daisy and keat. sorta farewell lunch.. but we bitched alot like what girls do hahaha... girls huh...i so badly wanted to shop.. after looking at my deprived waredrobe... ya i know not my top priority now.
i ate my @ pastamania today. damn happy.
and so jeslyna's boss. hope she gets to introduce to me. *hint *hint*hahah

okok. cant believe im officially completing my jap course.

happy.
more later.
tom i'd be joining some open reggae dance class.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Sunday, May 13, 2007
7:14 AM

another long overdue piccas.... enjoy

this was the birthday girl.. we were planning to surprise since long long ago...

the four of us during lunch hour.. me esp sneaking out from sunny island..

my fave gal pals... my bday gathering... nt complete though.. :)

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Thursday, May 10, 2007
7:01 AM

getting hungry every 3 hours again hahaha.
nonsense right me?
anyway, had a great chat with ying rong at kim gary's.
watched a great movie with mich and cheryl yesterday.

ya know what? i think ure selfish cause u dun think of the cause and effect of your actions. Things are not always as straightforward as it is lady!!
Your insecurities is pissing me off real well.
i dun even know how to put this across to u anymore.
like wadever already la, cant be bothered.

but im definitely not doing a tic for a tac thing though.

flea market this sat 1-7pm behind cine. do feel free to flow by.. hahahah
okok more pics later...

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007
8:14 AM

argh.... dun keep nagging.... after so long dont you know that nagging really doesnt work for me. goodness gracious.

bellyblitz was awesome... i think pretty much all the dance classes makes u sweat like shit hahaha.

i am so stuck at words to update, think cause i was fuming mad jus now.

oh ya rejection letter from NTU came in. haha.. not an inch sad. but i wan to receive my NUS package soon soon....

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Saturday, May 05, 2007
2:06 PM

the celebration with the other bunch of girls

me and u know who hahah

this wasnt all of course.. knowing my appetite
im free and available any takers? hahahah. jk

the rest of us.. thank u

happy birthday Shuyu.

so many things happen these days. if only life can slow down a little for me to really enjoy every single tiny bits of it.

1. had this events assignment to fetch and send executives from the airport to Ritz for 3 sessions.. they are either in the WEE morning or late night. SO i haven been getting enough zzz....

2. crashed out at Sentosa on Labour day. yea.. its been long since i step on the sand barefoot though i work there. Weird huh.. went back with the gals. we went to every single attractions the best part was the dinner at sakae.. like pigs man us hahaha...

3. the planning of surprise for shuyu birthday. boy was it tough. it was mentally quite challenging. i was like torn between to decisions..plans... options and what have you. but pretty glad the surprise went REALLY well.. and yes! 21st birthday i hope the surprise live up to its hype.:)

4. The massive work at hub 3. wa... really worked lo.....shall end here.. neverending.

5. Club @ Zouk today! Music was Awesome! Crowd was ok. The tee ko ang mo that dance with me... grrr.... other than that.. 'm sure yap knows what i mean when i say a girl just want to dance and have fun.:)

more later. i promise.

i want watch spiderman.

AND

THANK U GIRLS FOR THE WONDERFUL DINNER AND CHILLING OUT AT BUGIS TODay! i do count my blessings.

off to zzz.. work tom.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Friday, May 04, 2007
7:34 AM

the 20th birthday celebration feast where i eat and eat and of course eat...

thank michelle for being there. and you know what? i think i really have a big appetitie. many interesting things happened that day. the cat incident....

ok i know these pics are way back. but kind really busy these days....

laziness struck.

more later i promise

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007
8:14 AM

you know ive thought ive never been that selfish. but than i think again.
all these plans with concern of my life or the life that i want to live, isnt it all about me?
ami making decisions that revolves around me?
i want to do this this and that and all of these that i want is just because i want to have a better me not becaue it contributes to the benefits of my loved ones around me.

So now i start to think again, if all the glamour and puss of being around friends, living the high life and getting all loud and recognised is doing me or the people i really love and care about any good.

Are these that i am looking for just equipments to fill this temporary void within me, are these actually in actual fact hindering blocks to my real attainment of life?

im feeling all so guilty at 20 that ive not done much for my parents.:((
ive attained quite a splendid portfolio for myself but it only pleases those that are able to 'use' me or needs the benefits of it to 'be friends' with me.

but, really, honestly, what about those that really have stood by me and stays by me unselfishly all these while. This are the people that have looked beyond the things that i have accumulated along the years and despite the misses of life has always been the plaster of all of it.

If i can say one thing, i 'd say i am really grateful for the people around me who has loved me unconditionally.
I shall slow down this life and cherish what i have from now on.
For i have learnt, it is not the acclaimation or the high pedestal that one attains that is able to gain that happiness.

For like what ive always said and searched for, it is and will always be well within and not anywhere else.

i love you. all of you. i hope you all know that, you dont have to think any further. sincerely to all i know.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.