there is this feeling, this ripping feeling. this very ripping feeling that is ripping me away from my naivety and my innocence. I feel as if i can no longer just be in front of you smiling and crapping away, i feel that my sanity is back in full force, that i am thinking and analysing which is in return erasing all my simplicity of life.
the responsibility really is greater now. It is not that i dont want these responsibility but growing up kind of scares me right now. I dont want to have any of what i am doing now be a burden to me, life would indeed be very miserable if i start to think that way. And, so what should i do right now to make all these go away? Can i still be nonchalent about what is happening around and still be as good in handling issues at hand?
I dont want to be scrupulous to pay the price, i dont want to know what it is like how there. I dont want to be who i am putting down now. I dont want to be the one you guys start to hate. I dont want to be the one in power. I dont really like the attention i am getting. I just want to be able to live happily sharing my life and ambitions with you, you and you.. all of you out there. I dont want the bridge between friendships. I dont want to quests to who is better.
Can we all just share? Can we all just be a tad understanding, loving and giving. Can we more importantly not judge? can we just take each other as mutually the same, and not mutually exclusive objects? There shall be no adoration, there shall be no competition of the best. Lets just be who we are now.. let this just remain.
I'll try, really. I dont want to look back and see who i know i might turn into and regret not knowing or putting a stop to it....
ok. just thoughts........hmm....
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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Song Clarice
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April baby (28th)
