i'm feeling alone but i enjoy this serenity and time alone since my family is on holiday. i feel so at peace yet at conflict. i told ya my life is full of contradiction. there i was saying that i dun need anything from you and here i am right here right now, feeling the need to talk to you, the need to tell you about my life. maybe its the tequila kicking in, or the sudden freedom i receive. both from the fact that my family is on hols and probably the fact that my exams is over.
i'm so afraid one day i will lose everything. everything that i have now which i am very pleased with. But at the same time i also understand that is not the way you see life, but again, what you read theorectically is different from what is being practised. this is sucha dilemma. i dun want to quit on anything but i am i am not living in i am surviving. and you are not suppose to be surviving your life as each day passes.
i think i am just tired. i have no idea why i am rushing these thoughts into my head now. i dont want it to be on a spur of moment that i do call you, because i swear i was pretty much sure i dun need ya in my life, happy that you'd stay as a figment of my imagination.
oh well, exams over, had great fun with great company today. very happy. :0) couldnt ask for more, but its the night kicking in spoiling the fun.... hmmm...
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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Song Clarice
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