forever.

Monday, March 28, 2005
10:30 PM

i just wanted to lay in bed and sleep and sleep till forever... no idea why, wasnt really sleeping very late yesterday, but i'd just wanted to lay in bed forever.

perhaps the weather?
perhaps the sudden comfort i felt in my bed?

anyway, went out of the house, was supposed to head for upper seletar reservoir, instead had to travel back home due to bad weather. Which was okay by me actually, wanted to slack more at the comfort of my house..

but out i was heading to little india for our indian cuisine.
i was very hungry, not really, but i guess my appetite was bigger than usual, think because i was walking to and fro from my house to the interchange fast speed. Increase metabolism haha. So i had a very satisfying meal. yum yum. hope the others did too.

SINGAPORE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS.
yup, thats where we were heading.
Lotsa pics taken, half price entry, companion of various animals, had a great sweaty and wacky time over there.
had ben and jerry's as our cool down meal along with chinese tea.
yea, it kinda clashes, but i was thirsty yet hot yet something else.
journey back home, and here i am.

i realise that i cannot help you if you are not ready to help yourself, i may sound like a bitch, and that i always find something against you, but if only you realise that these things that i have found are actually things that you could have jolly well done so well, if only you try, open up and take a chance at it.

I am not saying its easy, like what the hell, no one said its ever going to be easy, but you are always in mid air, hanging, its either yes or no, want or do not want, dont have to oblige me, dont have to force youself to do the things you dont want to do. I am not asking for anything from you, just for you to do the things you really like and be happy.

I dont know what to do, i feel so bad at times, and i hate it because you are making me feel this way. Which was why i was so surprised that you were actually concern about me when you did ask that question. I like it when we have not met for days and when we do we have things to touch on, but i dont like it when you start getting grumpy and unsure and not confident about yourself when we see each other every single day.

Something tells me that i dont have the time or the patience to make a difference out of you.
I dont know if this is good or not but i am not liking the fact that i am feeling this way too, but i realised that if i ever hold on too tightly to the fact that i want to make this better, i will screw it all up and i will be one very unhappy person.

simply saying.
you are letting your insecurities get in the way.
i dont like self pity.

i'm not gonna stand here and wait.