Iused to never like Sundays, because my parents are home, and now dont get me wrong, I love them to bits. But being around them at times scares the hell out of me. I was sleeping at ten in the morning, but i could hear shouts from the outside. I continued sleeping hoping to fall into a deep slumber. Everything seem so okay on the surface when we are in front of others, even me myself thought so deeply, i truly believed so.
But everything is folding in again, its kinda scary, i couldnt wait to get out of the house. So my mother wanted to go out to shop, so i went along, and it wasnt a pleasant trip because she started complaining about everything and anything, i am okay with it. But honestly, her aim was kind of to tell me i was useless doing nothing to help certain issues. Certain things she said i could do the very next minute she could turn her back with the snap of a finger and change completely.
I left saying i need to meet my friends. I was angry. Angry mainly caused i feel i should not feel angry. But also angry because i could not feel angry. So i became sad, when i boarded the bus i was crying. not badly, but crying. Until i met my friends, guide friends, did things turn back to normal. I miss them alot.
So the rest of the day was great fun eating seafood at my usual hangout, went to HF to play pool but it was quite ex though, ate at TCC again, drank Hoegarden! Went home. Watch the charity programme, felt the need to help once again.
My life is filled with a sense of fear that eludes the minute i am in front of others, in front of what i like to do best, and my life is filled with the need to fufill society's flaws. If only... really....if only..... i always believed money is the root of evil...still believed..hai~
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
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Song Clarice
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